New Beginnings
by Miss Independent
I have been doing a lot of thinking about the various ways in which relationships can begin. Personally I have always met guys through mutual friends and had an initial undeniable chemistry with them from the very beginning. However, I know this isn’t always the case.
Take my roommate for example…her relationship just kind of…well, happened. She kept talking to a guy she met at a party because she liked that he was trying to get to know her instead of just trying to get in her pants. She saw him as a friend but one day he kissed her and being a pretty passive person, she kissed him back. They have together for over a year now.
It seems that there are four major ways in which relationships begin:
Friends first: You become friends and after a while realize you have romantic feelings towards each other.
-Pro…you can really respect, appreciate and know the other person as well as feel very comfortable with them. I’ve always heard that you should marry your best friend. I guess this is what they are talking about.
-Con…the sexual stuff may be awkward at first and it can be difficult to discern if you really have romantic feelings for the other person because you already ‘love’ them as a friend. Ew, personally I can’t imagine kissing my best guy friend…but that’s just me. Also, once you make the move to a romantic relationship, it seems that it would be impossible to go back to being just friends.
Random hookup-turned-relationship: This is where you are sexual (even if it is just making out) before you even really know the other person but you decide to meet up again and the relationship progresses from there. It seems that this is pretty common in the college scene.
-Pro…there is usually a strong sexual attraction. They call that lust. I like to call it the fun in a relationship.
-Con…your relationship might turn out to be based solely on sex and you may spend so much time being sexual that you don’t spend enough time getting to know each other…take away the sex and you really don’t have anything at all. Hopefully this is something you figure out before you are married with children.
Mutual friends: You both hang out with the same group of people and realize you have a connection.
-Pro…you share the same social circle so you are less likely to ditch your friends. Come on, we all hate on those people who give up their friends when they get in a relationship…this takes that problem out of the picture. Also, usually the sexual stuff and ‘getting to know each other’ progresses at the same rate and the beginning of the relationship is fairly pressure-free.
- Con…your friends will always be put in the middle and if you break up it is difficult to have a “clean break” when you both want to hang out with the same people. This I know from personal experience and it is not at all fun.
Conventional dating: This is the one I like to call “relationship fast track.” This is where the first time you spend together is over a date. Imagine the scenario that the guy gets the girl’s number at Starbucks and that weekend they go out to dinner.
-Pro… if you both agree to a date you are probably on the same page and curious about seeing if a relationship can blossom. If the date doesn’t go well, you don’t need to worry about running into them awkwardly or having their trash talk get back to you (or vice versa).
- Con…dates can be really awkward. It also creates a lot of pressure when you are one-on-one and the intent of the date is to see if you like each other. Personally, I think dating is unnecessarily uncomfortable and people rarely come out of a date looking smooth and suave.
One way isn’t necessarily better than the others. I’m not trying to meet anyone right now, but if this phenomenon did happen to occur, I guess I should be open to however the relationship begins.
